expectations

My parents have every high expectations for me. they want me to get straight A's and don't get in trouble. the perfect child. i don't know if i can be that person. my older sister graduated with a 2.9 gpa and she was homecoming queen and she also was the speaker at her graduation. i feel i have huge shoes to fill and my parents compare me to her and i'm not her. i don't get the perfect grades and i'm not miss popular either. i sometimes feel like i am a failure to them and i just want to crawl in a hole and cry. i just don't know what to do.

what happens when we die?

on Friday i had a viewing.my great grandma died at the age of 102. it was an open casket, and it was weired looking at a dead person. then i was thinking about what happens when you die. when your little they tell you that when you die you will go to heaven and live in the clouds. but what if there isn't any pearly gates? do we have any knowing were dead or do we just rot? it's a question that no one knows... so we have our faith to tell us whats going to happen. i believe in heaven and god, but sometimes i think about...when we die, do we die and that's it? then there's the question...are you afraid of dying? personally I'm not afraid to die..I'm afraid to die too early before i get to live life. it's a topic i think about a lot and maybe to much. but i bet a lot of other think about it too.